I am about to hit 35 and normally I don’t care about my age but for some reason knowing I will be half way through my 30’s in a matter of weeks is freaking me out. I have found myself reflecting on everything I have done and more importantly not done in my life so far. Facebook keeps popping up memories of a pre-child Becci with her platinum blonde hair and a size 8 waist, out on the town or enjoying one of the many long haul holidays we used to take each year. Now replaced by trips to Haven and ‘staycations’ in the back garden.2017 will also mark my 10th year of marriage to Lee. Just the fact that we haven’t killed each other is a miracle, but after meeting at the age of 20 we have gone from raving all night to raving mad from lack of sleep. There are definitely times when I wonder how we got this far but I have no plans to add divorce to my list of things to do before 40.
The type of person I am means that I am never quite happy with what I have got and i am always looking for more. More knowledge, more experiences, more objects, more cake !! If there is something to be had, I want it. This means I also struggle to relax and switch off. I often overwork myself to the point of burn out and this happened again to me recently. So after being forced to slow down and take a short blogging break, I had some time to mull over the last 34 years of my life and start making plans for the next. I have ticked off all the boxes of what I wanted for myself before I was 35. Marriage, kids, nice house, posh car, good career but there is definitely something missing. Turning 30 never bothered me as I still considered it to be young and being pregnant with Harry at the time, the disappointment of not being able to celebrate with a cocktail was out weighed by the excitement of having a baby.But 5 years down the line with no plans for more children(or a new husband) my feet are getting itchy and I am ready to start a new adventure. I am bursting with pride with what I have accomplished so far but I don’t feel truly fulfilled. I don’t have all the answers now and I am not sure what direction my adventure will take me but I know that if I don’t start making plans now I will be staring 40 in the eye with regret and a tired soul. As the famous quote say’s” The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step ”. I just need to decide whether my path to fulfilment requires taking a step back or sprinting on forward.
Are you on the path to fulfilment? Do you feel like time is running away with you?
Let me know in the comments below.