Yes, you have seen a very similar picture to this before in my post from last year 5 Things I Have Learnt The Morning After The Night Before. The problem being I don’t seem to have learnt from my mistakes and If anything I have surpassed myself and have the worst hangover of my entire life. This could be due to the fact that before going out last night the only thing I had consumed all day was a bag of Quavers. Between football practice, kids parties and just trying to keep 2 children alive, finding time to eat didn’t quite happen. Don’t worry though I made up for it last night by eating a steak as big as my head ( but I was already 2 cocktails and a glass of wine in by this point ). So, here’s The UnNatural Mother’s Guide To Parenting On A Hangover.
Brew a pot of coffee and drink a large cup ( then nearly throw up as you had 3 Espresso Martini’s instead of dessert last night and the taste is making you want to vomit )
Allow the oldest child to eat the entire contents of the party bag from friends party yesterday ( It’s a scientific fact that Paw Patrol Birthday cake counts towards their 5 a day )
Loving make your husband a cup of tea and take it up to him in bed ( what he doesn’t know is it contains coconut milk as in the tinned stuff and it’s your revenge for him refusing to get up with the kids. The last of the normal milk has just been used to make yourself a brew )
Set up an Easter Shoe Hunt ( The naughty Easter Bunny has hidden one of mummy’s Jimmy Choo Shoes, she’s 99% sure she was wearing both shoes when she left the restaurant but can’t be sure. 1st one to find the shoe wins a chocolate biscuit )
Remove last night’s underwear from smallest child’s head ( In doing so find missing shoe along with your’s & your husband’s entire outfits from last night from down the back of the couch.Look very confused as neither you or your husband know why your outfits are there ???? )
Prepare a healthy breakfast to soak up the alcohol ( full fry up complete with chips, I’m classy like that )
Have an impromptu PJ Day ( not a chance am I tackling trying to dress 2 kids today )
Take a long shower ( you would have preferred to do this alone but 2 children and a teddy bear in a space no bigger than a postage stamp is fine too )
Make a note to apologise to your youngest child’s Nursery Teacher who you saw in the restaurant ( She asked had you enjoyed your meal, at no point did she ask for career advice which you were readily dishing out to her )
Offer to make the Sunday roast ( that way you can sneak a glass of wine while you cook and take the edge off your splitting head )
I hope you have enjoyed my survival guide.Please feel free to comment below with your tips & tricks for parenting on a hangover. I would love to say I will learn from my mistakes but let’s face it there will definitely be another post like this in the future.