The UnNatural Mother

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Lost & Found 

I have read many articles about how other mothers felt they lost their identities when they became mothers.Well I havent lost mine. More annoying than loosing something mine just went to live under the huge…

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Heigh Ho,Heigh Ho,It’s Off To Work I Go …. 





So here I am at 7.28 sitting on the train to Manchester to go into see my boss to discuss my return to the working world in September. Up until this morning I was uber excited with the thought of wearing a posh outfit , putting on my heels and using my brain cells in a real adult conversation. But as I sit here on the train I have sat on 10 million times I feel physically sick. I’m already wishing I had put flat shoes on, the note book I put in my handbag is decorated with jam & doodles and I’m actually SCARED ! Scared they are going to see through my red lipstick & heels , scared they are going to tell me they don’t want me back , scared because soon I will have to leave my babies again. I’m not saying anything here that every other mother doesn’t feel but today that mother is me and just for a few minutes I’m going to allow myself to have a little wallow in self pity. BUT I know myself too well , and having been brought up by a mother who’s favourite expression is “tits & teeth ” I know that whatever happens today I will be fine and if it all goes wrong the office is next to Harvey Nichols so I will just drown my sorrows in an expensive cocktail (1 is all I can afford ) while wearing my posh outfit , red lipstick & heels.  View Post


The Agony & The Ecstasy 

I spend 90% of the time looking forward to a rest from my nearly 4 year old son. To say he’s hyperactive would be an understatement and when you have been up all night with a poorly baby you dream that he will just play nicely with his Lego or sit and watch a Disney film. But let’s face it that’s not going to happen ! He starts at School this September and even though I know he’s ready & it will be a welcome relief from him bouncing off the walls my hearts breaking. I have been off work with baby No2 for 10 months now so me and the Little Man have spent lots of time together. Most of it in children play areas , parks , anywhere cheap that does a decent coffee and gives me 1/2 hours peace. But as I sit here today in another kids play area watching him eat his very expensive Kinder Egg before his even more expensive kids ham sandwich I know these days are numbered and soon he will start school, I will be back at work and baby No2 will go to nursery. No more mummy & Harry days.


More Tea Vicar ?

tea and biscuits for the Vicar

My daughter gets Christened on Sunday so we had a visit from the Parish Vicar for tea and a chat about the service. Having picked my son up early from nursery and explained who the vicar was ( or so I thought I had ) and how he needed to be a good boy, I had just enough time to stick a dress on my daughter and baby wipe both their faces. My Hubby hearing the Vicar was coming had deserted me and gone to the last minute meeting ! ?!

Everything started off well with both kids smiling and happily munching on a biscuit while the Vicar and I chatted. The peace was soon to be broken when my Son convinced the Vicar was, in fact, Post Man Pat kept asking where Jess the cat was. My daughter having enjoyed her 1st biscuit was now trying to furiously get off my lap and get to the plate of goodies. It wasn’t until the Vicar had gone did I realise my brand new ( from Oxfam) cream M&S top had been decorated with chocolatey fingers. View Post


Introducing The UnNatural Mother


First I must say that both my children were well planned and very much wanted. My job, which I’m on MAT leave from with baby No2 requires a high level of organisation and planning so when it comes to my ‘home life’ I organise & plan just the same.

The reason I decided to have my 1st baby was I didn’t want to get to 40, having built up my career to then find out I couldn’t have kids. No amount of money would have filled the hole that would have been left in mine & hubby’s life.

Our little boy was born in 2012 & our little girl in 2015.When people told me children turn your life upside down they weren’t kidding. The day my son was born was the start of my downward spiral from shopping at Harvey Nic’s, getting a £25 blow dry’s & enjoying expensive lunches to my present label of choice Heart Foundation (yes, the charity shop ), greasy hair 5 days a week and eating the baby’s  leftover mush.

I am not writing this blog for sympathy, more to keep a note of the utter crazy situations I now find myself in on a daily basis.

And with that Baby No2 has awoken so off I must go back to mummy duties