It’s Exhausting Constantly Chasing Your Dreams.

 

Chasing Your Dreams

Ever feel like you are so close to success you can taste it but so far it feels unreachable? Like you are constantly chasing your dreams? That’s how I feel at the moment. I am nearing 12 months down the line from leaving my corporate career and I feel I have come so far and yet have so far to go. My mission was to change my career, spend more time with the kids and still be able to stand on my own two feet financially, and some days I feel like I am winning at life and then others I feel like I am running backwards. This is not a pity post, I am not looking for sympathy, but more and more I am seeing posts by women looking to empower other ladies to chase their dreams and build a new life. In some ways I have been doing this to you for the last 12 months, but as I always want to show you both sides of the story I need to tell you it’s exhausting constantly chasing your dreams.

I thought by now I would have transitioned into my new lifestyle, feel less stressed and feel like the Queen of my castle, but I don’t. With my new life comes a new set of stresses and it’s still taking me time to get my head around them. I do not miss my previous job and the commuting and the passing from pillar to post of the kids but I do miss the wage that came with it and the sense of having a career. Of being someone. In some ways, I feel like I have lost my identity a little like I am back to being someone’s wife, someone’s mum. I have worked so hard to get this far and it’s just not far enough. I know we mum’s put too much pressure on ourselves but last July when I waved goodbye to my old career I felt like I had the world at my feet and this was it , I was off to make my mark with a brand new life ,  yet 12 months later I feel like I am treading water in an ocean.

I constantly feel like I am juggling knives, that I can’t stop for fear of failure. I don’t have the backup of being employed and though I do pat myself on the back for nearing 12 months of being self-employed I don’t feel like I can truly switch off. I think the thing that truly guts me is that I haven’t been able to blog as much as I would like. Even while travelling around the country as I did, I still found time to have space and time away from the kids to write and update my blog. Now I spend so much time with the kids I don’t get time to find space for a coffee. I know this feeling will pass and that if I keep going everything will fall into place but it’s truly exhausting constantly chasing your dreams …………….

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